Memories

I have been living in Singapore for 10 years by now. Eight long years ago, I moved into the house I am currently in.

I was assigned the second bedroom in my house, counting from the beginning of a long corridor that began in the living room. I had no desk, just a piano and a 90cm bed. I also had a large, long windowsill that spanned the width of my room; a large concrete slab with nothing on it.

I decided to put my computer there, the empty area between my piano and bed, and used it like a makeshift desk; I brought a little stool for me to sit on. My mac was an 11.6 inch, early 2014 MacBook Air, with an i7-4650U, 8gb of RAM, and a 512gb SSD. I still have it.

Months later, at the age of around 10 (my memory is very faint), I was gifted a custom PC that I was supposed to build…but I didn’t know how to build one at all. I asked my dad to do it.

I put it on the windowsill, and that’s where my computing journey really started to kick off. It was the windowsill where I did all the virtualization I did to run modern and ancient OSes. It was the windowsill where I had set up my first file servers (SMB, AFP when that was more common, and even FTP), and my first http server. It was the windowsill where I set up my first linux server, had all the emotional breakdowns I had as a young asian boy, and the windowsill where I taught myself simultaneous equations in 5th grade.

And as I grew up, the windowsill grew up with me. It wore off, the things on it got dusty, and I eventually grew out of it; I needed a better desk setup.

And years later…

I am now one of the best programmers¹ in my whole high school. I am now fluent in all the programming languages I’ve dreamt of learning; C, Python, Rust², and exen x86_64 linux assembly; name whatever. I have written real software; many pieces of real software. I’ve even made it onto hacker news, which made my dad pretty proud³.

And just 30 minutes ago, that same Eason who, many years ago, sat at that windowsill for hours exploring the world of computing; going from Eason Tech Reviews to ezntek, visited said room. There is now a new bed inside for my father, who’s out of the country. I sat on the bed, and looked at the windowsill, where there were some books, some other assorted items, a fan and some plants.

And I realized. That was the exact same windowsill from all those years ago, where I explored computing as an elementary school computer enthusiast; where I ran my old YouTube channel. I am the same person as the Eason from all those years ago, still with that same passion for computing, just grown up a little, with a far more mature mind than the typical 16 year old⁴. I am clearly changed, I am now ezntek.

But that windowsill will only be accessible to me for the next 2 years. In 2027, I graduate; I leave Singapore. In a mere two years, I will not be able to see the birthplace of the new me ever again. A slab of concrete with so many memories, like how I’d used to put my MacBook underneath my bed next to run it as a file server, or where I miserably failed at learning Python.

I attribute all my success and my new passion to that windowsill, that isolated corner away from all the commotion in my family. It proved to me what I was really good at. And yet it will only be a faint memory, seen through just a few pictures taken on my iPhone SE in gold, one that I’ll only tell my kids, because they will never be able to see it, and I’ll never see it again very soon. Needless to say, I will miss my windowsill very much.

Cherish your time, cherish your memories; the things that you love will eventually become one too. Just a mere thought that will fade until your eventual demise.

Fortunately, I have an adulthood ahead of me. Unfortunately, I have an adulthood ahead of me. Sometimes I wish I could live as a teenager with free will a little longer, in this house a little longer, because I will miss this silly little apartment, and my silly little windowsill.